Two Story Tellers
Hamen
King Ahasuerus
Attendants
Three Men
Queen Vashti
Handmaidens
Host and Hostess of Beauty Pagent
Two Pagent Contestants
Esther
Mordechai
Two Guards
Parade Singers
Estherettes
and a Chorus made up of all students who are not playing
roles at the time.
(CAST
enters, faces audience, and sings:)
Song 1
CHORUS:
Some
holidays don’t have much pomp
You’re not supposed to yell and romp
But we want you to hiss and stomp
Because it’s Purim, Purim, Purim.
FOUR
SINGERS:
The Jews in Persia will find hope
FOUR
OTHER SINGERS:
And will the villain triumph?
CHORUS: Nope!
FOUR
OTHER SINGERS:
The king will still remain a dope
CHORUS:
Because it’s Purim, Purim, Purim.
It’s
fun cheering Esther on
It’s fun taking sides
HAMEN (pushing his way to the front of stage):
Look out—bad guy coming through
CHORUS
(to audience):
You can boo
SOME of CHORUS: Boooo.
That’s fun too.
SOME of CHORUS: Boooo.
We’re
thrown in jokes and added song
We may have got a few things wrong
At least the show is not that long!
Because it’s Purim, Purim, Purim
Purim, Purim, Purim
Whoa
Purim,
Purim, Purim,
Whoa oh oh oh.
STORYTELLER
#1 (Enters and addresses audience): In ancient Persia, a long time ago,
there lived a powerful king named Ahasuerus. He had a beautiful queen named…
STORYTELLER
#2 (racing in, interrupting): Wait! First you
gotta tell them about the villain.
STORYTELLER
#1: Oh yeah!
(to audience)
This show has a villain. He’s an advisor to the king, and he’s a very bad man.
STORYTELLER
#2 (To the audience): And you guys in the audience get to participate.
STORYTELLER
#1: Whenever you hear the villain’s name,
you need to boo and hiss and stomp.
STORYTELLER
#2: Let’s practice. The name of the
villain is…Hamen!
(AUDIENCE makes
noise)
STORYTELLER
#2: That was actually pretty…terrible.
Come on, this guy is EVIL.
You gotta let it out!
(HAMEN walks on, carrying and admiring a snow globe)
Look, there he is! It’s…HAMEN!
(HAMEN turns to look when his name is called. AUDIENCE should let him have it.
HAMEN approaches audience, stares in annoyance.)
STORYTELLER
#1: Now you’re ready! Let’s get this thing going.
(STORYTELLERS exit. KING AHASUERUS enters with ATTENDANTS.
HAMEN runs up and falls on his knees.)
HAMEN: Welcome, your most graciousness. How is your royal
splendidness today?
KING
(dejected): Ah, it’s Queen Vashti again.
She doesn’t like the new crown I bought her.
And it’s so wonderfully SHINY!
HAMEN: I’ve brought you something. I found it in the bazaar.
(HE shakes up the snow globe and hands it to the KING)
KING
(holding it up): Look how it sparkles! A
perfect gift from my favorite advisor…
(pause;
then with special clarity for the audience)
…Hamen!
(AUDIENCE should make noise. The STORYTELLERS can peek in from the
side when the word “HAMEN” is said to encourage the audience. HAMEN should give
the AUDIENCE a dirty look.)
KING
(delighted): Can you find me another one of these?
HAMEN: Right now, your glowingness?
KING: That would be splendid! This one’s
broken—the snow has stopped.
HAMEN: But you just have to shake it a bit and…
ATTENDANTS
(together): His majesty does not shake.
HAMEN: I shall return promptly, your imperiousness.
(Exits;
to audience HE gives the “I’m watching you” signal with two fingers to
the eyes and then back to the audience).
Song 2
KING:
Show me something shiny and I want one
Something that has sparklers—I’ll take two
Candlesticks and mirrors and some tinsel
I love clothes with sequins, well, don’t you?
ATTENDANTS
(spoken): Absolutely, your highness!
KING:
Put some little diamonds on my slippers.
ATTENDANT (spoken): Right away.
Pour some extra glitter on my bed
ATTENDANT (spoken): Of course!
Someone go and fetch my prize possession
My favorite spot for sparkle--is my head!
I
love my crown
ATTENDANTS: Loves his crown!
I love my crown
ATTENDANTS: Loves his crown!
Wax it here
Buff
it there
Make that sucker glow
Oh you know I love my crown.
(INSTRUMENTAL: KING dances with his
crown; that is, with his crown as
his partner. ATTENDANTS join in.)
See
it sparkle!
I love my crown!
Shine! Shine!
KING
and CHORUS:
I love my crown
ATTENDANTS: Loves his crown!
KING and CHORUS:
I love my crown
ATTENDANTS: Loves his crown!
KING,
ATTENDANTS, and CHORUS:
Wax it here
Buff it there
Make that sucker glow
Oh
you know I love my crown.
KING:
Oh yes I do
KING,
ATTENDANTS, and CHORUS:
Oh you know I love my crown.
(KING and ATTENDANTS exit. STORYTELLERS enter.)
STORYTELLER
#1: The King had a big party to celebrate his
new snow globes.
STORYTELLER
#2: He also wanted to show off his beautiful
queen, Vashti, to all the guests.
STORYTELLER
#1: So he ordered her to put on her new crown
and come dance.
STORYTELLER
#2: But Vashti refused! The men at the party
were shocked.
MAN
#1 (stepping forward): In Persia, women must
obey their husbands. It’s the law!
MAN
#2 (stepping forward): What a terrible example to set for all the wives of the kingdom.
MAN
#3 (stepping forward): What do YOU say, Hamen?
(AUDIENCE reacts.)
HAMEN
(stepping forward): I say she must be
punished!
STORYTELLER
#1: And that’s just what King Ahasuerus did.
STORYTELLER
#2: He banished Vashti from the palace
forever.
(VASHTI and HANDMAIDENS enter; OTHERS exit.)
HANDMAIDEN
#1: Vashti, what will we do now?
VASHTI: We’ll be fine.
HANDMAIDEN
#2: But I LOVED living in the palace.
HANDMAIDEN
#1: I know. All the clothes and jewels.
VASHTI:
Well I’m not going to miss a thing! I HATED this place. Eat this. Wear that.
Dance NOW! I’ve got my own plans, and they don’t involve wearing stupid crowns!
Song 3
VASHTI:
I’ve got a future in retail
I’m a natural at sales
Gonna be a star
Down in the bazaar
Selling off my crown and veils.
Oh
Gonna be a big star in retail
HANDMAIDENS:
Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah!
VASHTI:
I’ve got a future in retail
Watch how far I will go
Pad my resume
Get an MBA
Soon I’ll be a CEO.
Oh
Gonna be a big star in retail
HANDMAIDS:
Oh yeah yeah yeah!
VASHTI:
Pay my own rent
HANDMAIDS:
Yeah!
VASHTI:
Buy my own bread.
HANDMAIDS: Yeah!
VASHTI:
Nothing bright and shiny on my head.
HANDMAIDS: Yeah!
VASHTI:
Dress how I like
HANDMAIDS: Yeah!
VASHTI:
I’m wearing pants!
HANDMAIDS: Yeah!
VASHTI:
Choosing where and when I want to dance!
HANDMAIDENS
and CHORUS:
She’s got a future in retail
She’s a marketing brute
Nothing she can’t do.
HANDMAIDENS:
Infomercials too!
HANDMAIDENS
and CHORUS:
She’ll make Walmart look minute.
VASHTI:
Oh
Gonna be a big star
HANDMAIDENS: Big star!
VASHTI:
In retail
HANDMAIDENS: Retail
HANDMAIDENS
and CHORUS:
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
VASHTI,
HANDMAIDENS, CHORUS:
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah!
(VASHTI
and HANDMAIDENS exit. STORYTELLERS enter.)
STORYTELLER
#1: King Ahasuerus soon missed his queen.
STORYTELLER
#2: His friends told him to hold a beauty
contest to find a NEW queen.
STORYTELLER
#2: Ministers were sent throughout the land to
bring all the most
beautiful women to the palace.
(HOST and HOSTESS enter. THEY each hold a microphone.)
HOST: Good evening, and welcome to the final round of our
Persian Pageant of Pulchritude.
HOSTESS: That’s right, Biff. We’ve gathered the
most beautiful women from all
127 provinces. And now we’re down to the final three contestants.
HOST: And here they are.
(THREE CONTESTANTS enter. One is ESTHER. SHE remains calm.
The other TWO CONTESTANTS smile obnoxiously and pose ridiculously
throughout. THEY ALL stand to the side as the song begins.)
Song 4
HOST
and HOSTESS:
Smile
Oh just smile
We are looking for lips that beguile
Are you dumb as a rock?
Well that's no stumbling block
You can still take that walk down the aisle
If you just smile.
This
completes the first one-third of the script.
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