The Show
We want you to know what you're getting, so the cast list and first third of the script are available here! Bad Wolf shows are written for flexibility and can be edited however you like to meet the needs of your actors, school, curriculum, parents, astrological chart, latest whim, etc. If you have questions about the portions of the script not shown, please contact us.
Casting
CHARACTERS:
Prometheus
Epimetheus
Three Muses: Calliope, Terpsichore, Clio
Hera
Zeus
Hebe
Heracles
Cerberus (non-speaking)
Pygmalion
Midas
Pandora
Daedalus
Icarus
Cupid
Aphrodite
Echo
Narcissus
Medusa
Perseus
Andromeda
Bellerophon
Pegasus
Orpheus
Eurydice
Arachne
Athena
Flexible casting: There are 28 parts, but the play can work with anywhere from 11-35 actors. For a smaller cast, each actor can play several roles and/or individual scenes can be cut. For a larger cast, larger roles (such as Pandora) can be split amongst multiple actors. An easy way to add more characters is to add more Muses (we've used three, but there are nine total) or have different actors play the Muses during their reappearance in scene 8. Note that all roles can be played by any gender.
Script
This is the first one-third of the script.
Scene One
PROMETHEUS (entering, shouts): Epimetheus! Where are you? Epimetheus, get over here!
EPIMETHEUS (entering): Stop shouting. What is it, Prometheus?
PROMETHEUS: Did I see you with a woman?
EPIMETHEUS (reluctant, looks down): Maybe.
PROMETHEUS: I knew it! Where'd she come from?
EPIMETHEUS: Umm. I don't know.
PROMETHEUS: Don't mess with me. This is serious.
EPIMETHEUS (shrugs): I found her.
PROMETHEUS: You found her? Where?
EPIMETHEUS: In a box of cereal. Yeah, that's it. Cereal.
PROMETHEUS: You did not! Tell me truth. Did Zeus give her to you?
EPIMETHEUS: No.
PROMETHEUS: DID ZEUS GIVE HER TO YOU?
EPIMETHEUS (mumbles): Maybe.
PROMETHEUS (exasperated): Epimetheus! We've gone over this a million times. What's rule number one?
EPIMETHEUS: Uh...Don't bring a giant wooden horse into the city?
PROMETHEUS: That's number 26.
EPIMETHEUS: Hmm...Watch where you step after a herd of centaurs goes by?
PROMETHEUS: That's number 18.
EPIMETHEUS: How am I supposed to remember?! You've got so many rules!
PROMETHEUS: Rule number 1! It's the most important of them all! Never, ever, EVER, EVER accept a gift from Zeus.
EPIMETHEUS: Why not? He's the king of all the gods!
PROMETHEUS: Because Zeus HATES me, that's why! You know the story. Everyone knows the story.
(The THREE MUSES enter)
CALLIOPE: I don't think everyone knows it...
TERPSICHORE (points to audience): Yeah, I can see their faces. They're LOST.
CLIO: Well, that's why we're here! Who better to tell them the story than us Muses?
CALLIOPE: Exactly. Storytelling is our BAG, baby!
TERPSICHORE: Here goes. Zeus wouldn't give fire to humans. They had no light at night. No warmth in the cold. No cooking.
EPIMETHEUS: No roasting marshmallows?
CLIO (to EPIMETHEUS): No, dear. And no s'mores.
(to audience)
So Prometheus stole fire from Olympus and gave it to humans. Zeus swore he would get even with Prometheus and make life hard for humans.
PROMETHEUS: Exactly. Thank you, Muses. And so I've told everyone, including my dolt of a brother here, not to take anything from Zeus because it's likely to be a trap.
EPIMETHEUS: Oh, right. Sorry.
CALLIOPE (to EPIMETHEUS): Where's the woman now?
EPIMETHEUS: How should I know? She was all upset and left.
PROMETHEUS: Upset? About what?
EPIMETHEUS: Her shoes, or feet, or something. I wasn't really paying attention.
PROMETHEUS: Come on, we have to find her.
(THEY start to exit)
EPIMETHEUS: Don't worry, she can't have gone too far.
PROMETHEUS: Why?
EPIMETHEUS: 'Cause she was carrying this big thing around.
PROMETHEUS (stopping; worried): What kind of thing?
EPIMETHEUS: I don't know. Maybe a box?
PROMETHEUS (screams): AAAAAAaaaach!
(PROMETHEUS chases EPIMETHEUS off stage and the MUSES exit.)
Scene Two
(ZEUS, HERA, and HEBE enter. HEBE is dressed as a child/ teen who's trying to look older.)
HERA: Zeus, what have you done? I recognize that smug little smile of yours. You're up to something.
ZEUS: Oh Hera, you're always so suspicious.
HERA: Maybe it's because a lot of your thunderbolts have "accidentally" landed in my bathtub.
ZEUS (to HEBE): Your mother has no sense of humor. My goodness, what are you wearing? And is that a tattoo?
HEBE (defiantly): I'm sick of being so youthful. I want to grow up!
HERA: Don't be ridiculous. Your name means "youth." You'll be a preteen forever.
HEBE: It's not fair! I want to wear grown-up clothes and bicker with my husband just like you!
HERA: Oh sure, that sounds good. But give it a couple thousand years. The glow wears off.
ZEUS (waving at them): Ssshhh. Wait for it. Any second now.
HERA: What are you talking about? You DID do something, didn't you?
ZEUS: Quiet! Listen.
(A horrible sound of screeching and crying and whistling slowly builds and then after awhile fades away. HEBE has been holding her ears.)
HERA: What was that?
ZEUS: Payback.
HEBE: What did you do, Daddy?
ZEUS: I had Hephaestus create a woman and I sent her down to Epimetheus. I gave her a jar with all sorts of nasty things in it. I just KNEW she'd open it.
HEBE: What kind of nasty things?
ZEUS: You know, evil stuff, like disease and miseries and subprime loans. Once they're out of the jar, humans can't ever put them back in. That'll teach them for using my divine fire!
HERA: You really need to get a hobby.
(HERACLES enters. HE has a giant club in one hand, and is accompanied by CERBERUS, who can be an actor or a stuffed animal.)
HERACLES: Hey guys, you won't believe what just happened!
HEBE (admiringly): Hi, Heracles.
HERACLES: Oh, hi, Hebe.
HERA: What's with the three-headed dog?
HERACLES: This is Cerberus. I had to fetch him from Hades.
(CERBERUS is sniffing HERA's foot)
Hey, get away from there!
(To HERA)
Sorry, Mom. He's not house-trained yet. You should see my apartment.
HERA: Heracles, it's time you knew the truth. I am NOT your mother.
HERACLES: Of course you are!
ZEUS: No, she's right. You were born to a mortal woman.
HERACLES: But I've seen the movie!
HERA: The movie lied. v
HERACLES (falling to his knees, raising hands to the skies): But if I can't trust Disney, who CAN I trust?
(quickly gets over it and stands up)
Oh well. (brightens) Hey Hebe, you wanna go clubbing?
HEBE: You mean, like, dancing?
HERACLES: Er, no. I meant like clubbing some monsters!
(lifts up his club)
HEBE (giggles): I'd LOVE to! And then let's get matching tattoos!
(THEY exit arm in arm, with CERBERUS. ZEUS and HERA look at each other, and then run after them.)
Scene Three
(MIDAS and PYGMALION enter.)
PYGMALION: Please, Midas. Just one little touch.
MIDAS: No. Absolutely not.
PYGMALION: Come on, man! You can turn something small into gold. How 'bout an apple?
MIDAS: No way. I've had it with this golden touch thing.
PYGMALION: What about a walnut? Or a grape. Just one little golden grape.
MIDAS: Look, Pygmalion, I'm doing you a favor. This has been a disaster. Everything I touch turns to gold. Everything. I've got golden doors. Golden drapes. Golden pants. Have you ever worn golden pants?
PYGMALION (shivering): Sounds cold.
MIDAS: And heavy. They keep falling down. I'm a king, for goodness sake. It's humiliating. This whole golden touch is more of a curse than a blessing. I wish I'd never asked the gods for it.
PYGMALION: But your wife must like the bling.
MIDAS: My wife? I kissed her the other day. Now she's gold. The kids are gold. The DOG is gold.
PYGMALION: Come on, one last magic touch for your old friend Pygmalion!
MIDAS: What do you want a golden grape for?
PYGMALION: I need the cash.
MIDAS: For what?
PYGMALION: My next sculpture. I need a perfect piece of Parian marble so I can make a statue of the perfect woman.
MIDAS: The perfect woman?
PYGMALION: Yes! And then I'm going to dress it up and give it presents and pray to the gods to make it come alive and be my wife!
MIDAS (pause, looks at PYGMALION, then): You're a sick man. You need to get some help.
PYGMALION: Oh, come on, please?
(PANDORA enters, holding a jar, and wearing shoes without socks.)
PANDORA: This is terrible, just terrible!
PYGMALION: Who are YOU?
MIDAS: Hey, wait, I recognize you. You're Pandora. You're that woman who opened the jar!
PANDORA: You know, that's a very judgy tone. There's a lot more to me than that one little mishap.
PYGMALION: Mishap? You let all the evils into the world.
PANDORA (defensive): Some GOOD things came out of this jar too, for your information.
MIDAS: Yeah? Like what?
PANDORA: Mangos.
MIDAS: Mangos?
PANDORA: And Spandex.
PYGMALION: They hardly make up for disease and death.
PANDORA (waving him off): Whatever. I prefer to see the jar as half-full rather than half-empty.
MIDAS: Why'd you open the lid in the first place?
PANDORA: I was looking for my socks.
PYGMALION: Socks? You brought evils into the world looking for socks?
PANDORA: When Hephaestus created me, he forgot to give me socks. I figured they were in the jar. I mean, why else would I have a jar?
MIDAS: Maybe to contain death and disease?
PANDORA: Oh sure, that's easy to say NOW. Can we move past that? These shoes are giving me blisters. It's terrible. I need to find some socks.
PYGMALION: Hey, I bet Arachne could weave you some socks.
MIDAS: Sure! She's brilliant. Wove me a beautiful wool sweater. 'Course it's a gold sweater now.
PANDORA: Arachne? Where does she live?
PYGMALION: Across the sea. In Athens.
PANDORA: Hmm. I think I know how to get there fast. Thanks!
(runs off)
MIDAS (to PYGMALION): Okay, Pygmalion. One last golden grape for you. Then I quit.
PYGMALION: Fantastic! Thanks!
(HE shakes MIDAS's hand. THEY start to exit.)
MIDAS: You probably shouldn't have shaken my hand.
PYGMALION (pause): Oh yeah. Right. Drat.
(HE solidifies into a statue and MIDAS pushes him off stage)
(This concludes the first one-third of the script.)
Christine Proctor (verified owner) –
<p>I really loved "Pandora's Socks." We just produced it last Monday and the parents raved. It was the perfect length and perfect amount of humor and interest. I cannot do musicals so these (non-musical) plays are amazing.</p>
LoriAnn (verified owner) –
I did it with my summer school kids (40 of 'em.) Every student that wanted a part, got at least one. We split up the Pandora's…. 2 of 'em… the 'bigs' were in charge of costumes and scenery… and they had parts.
The kids had more fun than any of them want to own up to. Even the "big" kids got into it. The little kids just loved performing and the parents loved it.
akatz (verified owner) –
I love this script. I had to explain the jokes to the 6th graders, but they enjoyed them when they understood them. The adults loved them. This script was witty and fun. I added a narration of an overview of the myths (maybe Badwolf Press could add a brief overview of the original myth as a section in the teachers manual) so that the kids and audience understand the myth. I used a cast of 24, and split the script into scenes. Some of the groups got 2 scenes. I had 5 Pandoras, and they just wore a sign around their neck so the audience wasn't confused.
Lisa Bodden (verified owner) –
We had a blast performing Pandora's Socks. The show is hilarious, with something for everyone, and self-referential. My performers loved the jokes and references to Greek gods and goddesses. I think everyone, including the audience, learned something and was highly entertained the entire time. Keep up the good work! I'm always looking for straight plays for middle school students and you have some great choices.
Jennifer Myers (verified owner) –
We just completed "Pandora's Socks and Other Fractured Greek Myths", and it was very well-received. The kids loved performing it, the audience (about 300) loved seeing it, and we had a blast with costuming, lighting, set design, etc. They learned a TON about Greek mythology in preparation, so thank you so much for creating the material that will give our students these foundational memories with educational benefits!