Flexible casting from 11-40 students.
as many Apples, Obsolete
Theories, etc. in each scene as
desired. Individual roles can
be doubled up; the roles of the
Assistants in particular can
easily be broken into 6-10 parts.
For a smaller cast, one student
can play several roles. Note that
all roles can be played by either
boys or girls; we have randomly
assigned pronouns to the
characters that can be changed.
Narrators 1 and 2
Laws 1, 2 and 3
(King) Isaac Newton
Quark, his (Evil) Chief Advisor
Black Hole, Quark's Dog
Assistants 1 and 2
This is the first one-third of the script:
IMPORTANT NOTE BE FORE WE BEGIN.
It is not easy teaching complex scientific concepts to small
children. But you already know that -- that's why you've turned to
us in desperation. (Just kidding!) As we researched and wrote this
play, we realized we had two choices: to dally at the surface level,
or to try to create a teaching tool that might actually help students
grasp the foundations of Newtonian physics.
Since the surface level never helped us much in school, we decided
to aim high and take the second option. We have therefore
attempted to break down Newton's Three Laws of Motion, and the
Forces that govern the universe, into a series of simple-as-possible
explanations that might, when built upon each other, actually aid
in something like real comprehension.**
** This statement has not been evaluated by anyone who evaluates statements.
As a result, there is a LOT of curriculum
in this play. The show includes both verbal
explanations and physical demonstrations
of many scientific terms and concepts. The
dialogue may be quite challenging for your
students, depending on the age group you
are working with. If this is the case, we
recommend that students read from their scripts on stage rather
than memorizing every line. There is absolutely no shame in that.
The main point is the LEARNING that comes when students delve
into the curriculum. You should also feel no pressure to put on a
"real" performance of this play; students will get a TON out of the
experience just by working with it in class.
If you do choose to do a performance, you may want to omit
portions of the longer, more curriculum-heavy scenes. We've made
some suggestions in the script to help you with this. We highly
recommend, though, that the entire script be used when first
introducing the material to your students. Each scene, particularly
those that contain physical demonstrations, should be read and
acted out many times and picked apart line by line. You can
supplement this initial learning with additional demonstrations
and experiments, freely available online. See the Teacher's Guide
following the script for more tips and recommendations.
(King ISAAC NEWTON enters and sits on throne.
NARRATORS stand; to cut down on frequent entrances/
exits, it will be easiest to have NARRATORS on stage for the
duration of the show.)
NARRATOR 1: Once upon a time, in the enchanted land of
Principia, there lived a wise and kind ruler, King Isaac Newton.
NARRATOR 2: King Newton had three children, all named Fig.
NARRATOR 1: That is NOT true. Stop that. Their names were
Law 1, Law 2, and Law 3.
NARRATOR 2: Really catchy names there! I'm going to keep
calling them Fig.
NARRATOR 1: Anyhow...One day King Newton asked his Chief
Advisor, Quark, to summon his three children to the throne room.
(NARRATORS sit. QUARK enters with his dog, BLACK
QUARK: Your children will be here shortly, Your Highness.
NEWTON: Thank you, Quark.
(HE looks at the dog)
That dog makes me nervous.
QUARK: Who? Black Hole? He wouldn't hurt a fly.
NEWTON (hesitantly trying to pet the dog): Good boy.
(BLACK HOLE growls and barks maniacally. NEWTON
QUARK: It must be your crown. He doesn't like shiny things.
Maybe I should take that from you.
(HE reaches for it.)
NEWTON (moving back): Don't
be ridiculous. So where'd you find
QUARK: Eating snacks by the pool.
NEWTON: Not again. All of them?
QUARK: Except for Law 3.
NEWTON: Thank goodness.
QUARK: She had fallen asleep on a
pizza. There was pepperoni stuck to her forehead.
NEWTON (angry): You've been absolutely right about them,
Quark. I've been too patient. Things are going to change.
LAW 1: Hi Dad. You wanted to see us?
NEWTON: Yes. I need to talk to all of you. Please sit down.
LAW 3: If this is about me trying to organize the cats this
morning, I can explain.
NEWTON: No, not this time. Quark tells me that you were out
goofing off all day.
(LAWS look at each other guiltily)
You are my children and I love you. But you can't just lounge
around being useless. You are laws of motion, for goodness sake.
You're supposed to DO something.
LAW 2: Like what?
NEWTON: Well, for starters, you can go out and figure out who
you really are. You know, grow up a little. Quark has convinced me
that this is the perfect time to send you all on a quest.
LAW 3 (excited): A quest? You mean for gold and kingdoms and
NEWTON: Not quite. You'll never be able to rule a kingdom if you
don't understand your true nature and how you fit with the rest of
LAW 2: Oooh! Oooh! I know that already. My true nature is...
LAW 3 (giggling): ...and I fit right on that chair in the shade.
NEWTON (angry): I'm serious about this. If all three of you don't
succeed, I'm going to start over and create some new laws.
LAW 1: Dad! You wouldn't!
LAW 2: I thought the narrator said you were "wise and kind."
NEWTON: I am. And I don't want you to fail. So I'm giving you
each a special gift to aid your quest.
LAW 3: A gift! Cool! I hope it's a pony. Is it a pony?
NEWTON: Not quite. Quark, please.
(QUARK carries something to LAW 3)
For you, Law 3.
(LAW 3 looks puzzled.)
It's a folding chair.
LAW 3: Geez. Uh. I don't know what to say.
(QUARK brings three books; two are small and identical and
the other is large/heavy. HE gives them to LAW 2.)
NEWTON: I've picked these especially for you, Law 2.
LAW 2 (holding them upside down, flipping the pages): Books? Is
there some cash in here or something?
NEWTON: Just take them with you. They'll
come in handy.
(turns to LAW 1)
And for you, my eldest...
(QUARK hands something to LAW 1)
...here is my most valuable possession.
LAW 1: Um. It's a hockey puck.
NEWTON: Not just any hockey puck. It's a royal hockey puck!
(THREE LAWS all look at each other and shake heads.)
Now, all of you, give me a hug and good luck!
(THEY hug. NEWTON exits.)
LAW 1 (to her siblings): Come on, we'd better get started.
QUARK: Wait, before you go, I'd like to give you each my own
special gift. Here.
(HE hands over a silver-colored belt to each of the LAWS)
Put them on! These are magic belts.
LAW 2: What's so magic about these belts?
QUARK (snickers to audience, then seriously to LAWS): Oh, you'll
find out soon enough. Put them on, put them on!
Now hurry along! You don't want any new Laws to take your place,
I don't know if you've figured this out yet. Some of you don't look
all that bright. See, I'm the evil advisor pretending to be good. It's a
cliche, I know. But it's so fun! Don't tell or I'll have Black Hole here
swallow you. And not even light can escape a Black Hole.
(BLACK HOLE growls; QUARK laughs evilly; THEY exit)
(GRAVITATIONAL FORCE -- aka GRAVITY -- and APPLE
enter. NARRATORS stand.)
NARRATOR 2: And so Fig, Fig, and Fig set out on their noble
NARRATOR 1 (elbows #2): The THREE LAWS set out on their
noble quest. It wasn't long before they came across Gravitational
NARRATOR 2: ...who was just about to enjoy a healthy snack.
(APPLE and GRAVITY look at each other in horror)
GRAVITY: He's not my snack. He's my friend. And he's famous!
APPLE: Don't you recognize me?
NARRATOR 2: Umm...
APPLE: I'm the APPLE! Newton's famous
NARRATOR 1: Oh right! You fell on his head
and that's how he got the idea for gravity.
(SHE looks at #2 smugly)
APPLE: That story is just a myth.
(NARRATOR 2 looks at #1 just as smugly.)
GRAVITY: But it IS true that King Newton got inspired to learn
more about me, Gravitational Force, when he saw Apple here fall
from a tree.
APPLE (proudly): I'm a kamikaze apple. Cowabunga!
(Safety permitting, APPLE can dive/fall onto something soft.
NARRATORS sit. LAWS enter.)
LAW 1: We couldn't help overhearing your conversation. We are
the Laws of Motion and we need to understand ourselves or else
our dad is going to write new laws to replace us. Can you help?
GRAVITY: Of course!
LAW 2: But how? What does gravity have to do with motion? It
just holds us on the ground, right?
APPLE (shocked): Do the words "kamikaze apple" mean nothing
LAW 2: Umm....
APPLE: There are many Forces that affect how objects move.
Gravity is one of those Forces.
(to LAW 2)
Imagine that you're hanging from a tree branch like I was. If you let
go, gravity would make you fall to the ground. Now that you're on
the ground, it holds you in place.
LAW 3: But where does gravity come from?
GRAVITY: Every object exerts a bit of gravity, but the effects are
only noticeable with gigantic objects like planets and moons.
LAW 1: But I thought there was no gravity on the moon.
(MOON and EARTH enter)
MOON: No gravity! Ha! Ridiculous!
APPLE: Hey look, it's the Earth and Moon!
MOON (huffily): That's right, I'm the moon. And I heard what
you said. My gravity may not be as STRONG as SOME PEOPLE'S
(indicates EARTH), but that doesn't mean I don't have any!
LAW 1: Sorry.
EARTH (to LAW 1): Don't worry. He's just upset because he orbits
around me and not vice versa.
MOON: That's right! I'm sick of being the sidekick. At least we
could trade off once in a while. (crosses arms) I'm VERY deserving
of being orbited.
APPLE: Of course you are! But that's not how orbits work. Earth
has a much greater mass than you do. Greater mass means stronger
gravity. That's the reason Moon orbits Earth and not the other way
EARTH: Wow, who knew?
MOON: My goodness, I had no idea. I thought she was just being
selfish. Well this changes things.
[The explanations of mass can easily be omitted
from a performance. Pick up again with LAW 1
saying, "You've all been very helpful..."]
LAW 2: Wait, what's mass? Is it like weight?
GRAVITY: They are related. But actually your weight changes
depending on how much gravity there is.
APPLE: On the moon you would weigh less than you weigh on
earth. And in space you wouldn't weigh anything at all.
LAW 3: Hmm. I bet a LOT of people would want to be astronauts
if they knew that.
EARTH: Maybe so. But just remember that your weight changes
with gravity, but your mass doesn't.
MOON: That's right. Mass is a measurement of the matter in your
body. Gravity or no gravity, your body has the same amount of
LAW 2: Matter?
MOON: You know... "stuff."
LAW 3: Stuff? (gazing concernedly at
belly) Like pepperoni pizza?
EARTH: Among other things.
LAW 1: You've all been very helpful,
thanks. Do you know what we should
MOON: You must split up and find the other Forces.
LAW 2: We don't even know what Forces are!
GRAVITY: A Force is simply a push or pull. There are several
types of Forces at work in the universe. Seek them out.
EARTH: But beware...some of them are Unbalanced!
LAWS 1, 2, 3: Unbalanced?!
GRAVITY, APPLE, MOON, EARTH (as if fading from view): Use
LAW 1: Well, you heard them. Let's split up and see what we can
LAW 3: Let's meet in front of the palace.
LAW 2: Last one there is an obsolete theory!
(ALL exit except LAW 1.)
NARRATOR 1: And so Law 1 set off to learn more about herself.
NARRATOR 2: She logged on to one of those genealogy web sites
to trace her family tree.
NARRATOR 1: She did NOT! She went searching for more Forces.
LAW 1 (chanting to herself): "An object in motion tends to stay in
motion. An object at rest tends to stay at rest." (sighs) That's what
my law says, but what does it mean?
(DON'T-STOP DOT enters. SHE is a toddler, practically
vibrating with energy. SHE runs circles around LAW 1. She
must move constantly the entire scene.)
DOT: A body in motion tends to stay in motion! Stay in motion!
Motion MOTION MOTION!!
(While this is happening, STAY-PUT STEVE enters and
lies down on the ground, looking up at the ceiling. HE is a
STEVE: A body at rest tends to stay at rest.
(HE closes eyes and snores loudly.)
LAW 1: Who are you guys?
DOT (runs in place): I'm Don't-Stop Dot and I never stop moving!
That's my lazy older brother over there, Stay-Put Steve.
(STEVE gives another loud snore)
He NEVER moves.
LAW 1 (excitedly): You must know something about Newton's
First Law of Motion! Well that's ME! I just don't understand what it
means. Can you help?
DOT (running around LAW 1 again): Help! Help! Helpity helpy! I
love to help help help help!
LAW 1 (getting dizzy): I can't understand what you're saying --
LAW 1 (trying to grab DOT): If you could just stop for a minute --
DOT: Nope can't do it, can't stop, nope nope!
(SHE does jumping jacks in place.)
LAW 1 (walks over to STEVE and stands above him): Steve? What
are you saying?
LAW 1: Inertia?
DOT: Of course inertia! We're the Inertia
Family! Another name for Newton's First Law
is the Law of Inertia. Objects in motion stay in
motion! Objects at rest stay at rest!
LAW 1: But that's not true! Look, when I slide
my royal hockey puck across this table...
...it eventually stops. Why?
This is the first of several
that will require some
sort of flat surface. To
ensure visibility for an
audience, a table will
probably work best. But
you can certainly just
use the floor! See page
42 of the Teacher's Guide
for staging tips.]
DOT: Don't know don't know don't
know! Just have to keep moving!
(HE rolls over and snores again)
VOICE FROM OFFSTAGE: Dot!
Steve! Time for dinner!
DOT: Gotta go! I'm having 50 energy
drinks and he's having a giant turkey.
(THEY exit, DOT dragging or somehow assisting STEVE)
LAW 1 (shaking her head): NOW what am I supposed to do?
(SHE moves to one side of the stage, pretending to be
walking, looking around, etc. QUARK and ELECTRIC
FORCE enter on opposite side of stage from LAW 1.
NARRATOR 1: Meanwhile, Quark also went looking for Forces.
But he wasn't trying to understand himself, oh no.
QUARK (in true villain fashion): I'm going to cast spells on the
Forces and get them to destroy Newton's Laws!
NARRATOR 2: Right away Quark found Electric Force, who only
has a very small part in this play because studies show that even a
simple explanation of electricity can make people faint.
NARRATOR 1 (hissing at #2): Shush! That is not in the script!
NARRATOR 2: Well it's true. It happened to my cousin.
NARRATOR 1: That's not the point! Your job is to speak your lines
as the playwright wrote them.
NARRATOR 2: I think the playwright would appreciate my
This concludes the first one-third of the script.
Frequently Asked Questions About Bad Wolf Products and Licensing
How does your pricing and licensing work?
A: In short: each teacher/director using the play should have a copy of it. That's it! Your purchase gives you the right to use the play with as many classes as you wish, to photocopy the script for your actors, and to put on as many performances as you wish. This one-time purchase gives you a lifetime license. See below for more information on site licenses (for 3+ teachers or whole schools).
Q: What comes in the package?
A: Every musical play comes with the script and a 12-page Teacher's Guide that provides lots of tips and advice for using the play from start to finish. It also includes the audio recording for the play, which has all the songs both WITH and WITHOUT vocals. Sheet music is NOT included with the basic package, but it is available for $12. Extra/replacement CDs are also available for $12.
Every non-musical play comes with the script and the 12-page Teacher's Guide.
Q: I'm just one teacher putting on a play. If I use the play with multiple classes, do I have to purchase multiple licenses?
A: No! Your purchase gives you a lifetime license to be used with as many actors and classes as you wish. If other teachers/directors wish to use the play as well, they will need to purchase their own licenses.
Q: Do I need to purchase scripts for students?
A: No! Your purchase includes permission to photocopy the script for your actors.
Q: What is a "site license"? How do I know if I need one?
A site license is the economical choice when a whole school or grade level wants to put on the same play. Instead of each teacher/director having to purchase a script, the school/site can purchase
a site license. This comes with three copies of the play (or one digital download) and permission to make copies for any additional participating teachers, as well as all the actors. You do NOT need to purchase both a site license and individual copies of the play; just buy one or the other.
Q: I understand that I can get two or more scripts for $35 each. Do they have to be the same play?
Nope! The discount applies whether you are purchasing multiple copies of the same show or single copies of multiple shows.
Q: What is the difference between the printed and digital versions? Which one should I get?
There is no difference in terms of content. The printed version of a musical play comes with an audio CD in a plastic sleeve in the back of the book. The digital version comes with two downloadable files: the script (PDF format) and the songs (individual MP3 files compressed in ZIP format). The advantage of the digital version is that you will not pay shipping and you can start using it instantly. Please read the question following this one about the technical requirements for digital files.
Non-musical plays are available in the form of a printed book or a PDF file.
Q: What are the technical requirements for the digital version?
- You will need to have Adobe Reader (free) or another software application that can open PDF files.
- You will need to be able to open ZIP files. The vast majority of computers should be able to do this without difficulty. If you wish to download the music directly to your phone or tablet, you will need to download an app that will open ZIP files. Many free ones are available.
- You will need to have some kind of audio player (such as iTunes or Windows Media Player) that will play MP3 files.
Advanced technical knowledge is not required; but please note that we do not have the ability to offer technical support for issues related to digital files. If you are unsure, it is probably best to stick with the printed version.
Q: What is your return/exchange policy?
A: Bad Wolf proudly offers a 100% guarantee. You can always exchange a product for another or get a full refund. No time limits, no questions.
Q: Is it OK if I edit the script?
A: Yes! Consider the play to be a jumping-off point. You are always welcome to change or omit anything that doesn't work for your class, administration, or parents. You are welcome to rewrite
lyrics, lines, or jokes -- or add your own! (The kids love doing this, by the way.)
Q: How long does shipping take?
A: We say that you should allow for one week within the U.S., but most orders are shipped the same day and arrive 1-3 days later. International orders usually take around two weeks to arrive.
Q: Do I need to pay any performance royalties?
A: As long as your admission price is less than $5 per ticket, you never need to pay performance royalties with a Bad Wolf show. If you decide to charge more than $5 a ticket, or if you are using one of our plays for a PAID workshop, camp, assembly, etc., pay only a low 1-2% royalty on gross revenues. See our royalty page to view the rates and pay.